Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Isaiah 53: 4-6

In the book Family of Jesus by Karen Kingsbury, a fictional account of what the family of Jesus’ may have felt and thought, I was drawn to the portayal of James, Jesus’ brother. I can imagine James heading for the hills when Jesus was arrested, not wanting anyone to figure out their relationship. I can see him watching the events of Good Friday from afar, ashamed of his fear but unable to make himself stay. I can picture him peeking out from his hiding spot only to have Jesus briefly, but directly, make eye contact and I can feel his pain when Jesus introduces Mary to her new son.

Having grown up in a Christian family, always hearing about Jesus, I can relate to how James must have been very familiar with Jesus yet did not know him. Have I headed for the hills, watching the events of Good Friday from afar? Have I felt the shame of my fear, yet was unable to stay at the foot of the cross? Have I hidden from the cross only to have Jesus directly make eye contact and pierce my soul? Have I felt the pain when Jesus calls me out for not acting like his family? I have done all of those things, and yet, Jesus died for me, just as he died for James, and for every other person who runs away from Jesus. We are all sheep who have gone astray and turned our own way, and yet Jesus bore our pain and suffering, was pierced for our transgressions, and was crushed for our iniquities.

Lord, we spend this day reflecting on how Jesus bore the punishment for our sins. We are the ones who puts the nails in his hands and his feet, just as surely as the guards who crucified him. We are forgiven because He was forsaken. Help us to remain at the foot of the cross, holding steady to the course even when we want to head for the hlls. We don’t want to watch the kingdom from afar, but our fear and shame sometimes overtake us. Help us, like you helped James, to realize what we have done and guide us back to the right path. When Jesus looks us in the eye, we want to be able to look back with the peace of the reconciliation He has made possible. Amen.